Too Much Information Vacation

 Here is how it all started.

It was a Saturday afternoon and the whole family was in Emme's room setting up her brand spanking new doll house we got for her turning 3 1/2, when just one little comment led to a spur of the moment Vacation!

I was looking at E's stuffed animals and I picked up Mikey and said "Disney World was so much fun, wasn't it babe? I would love to go back". Not thinking anything of it when Eric excused himself from the room, the girls and I continued with setting up the doll house.

About 10 minutes passed and I called down to Eric to see what happened to him.

He asked to give him 5 minutes then he'd come upstairs. That sparked my interest, but I still had no idea what he was doing. True to his word, he entered E's room 5 min later but with the laptop in hand. He sat down next to me and I took a look at the screen.

A full blue print presentation of a 4 night/ 5 day Disney World Vacation!

He thought of every expense and detail that was needed to pull off something this last minute.

We discussed the price and decided it was worth it!

Oh yeah, It would take place in just 3 days.

Now. To tell Mooshk.

We often talk about our Disney trip we took just 7 months earlier and she tells me fun things she remembers, so I knew telling her we would go back would dang near make her pee her pants.

Her reaction was priceless and fast-forward 3 days and we're on the way!!

I will sum up the trip with the pictures then explain the title of the post title later. I'm sure you are wondering the connection.

 Filling up the tank before our 9 hour trip

. Day one spent at the Magic Kingdom

 Beginning of day 2 in the lobby of our AMAZING hotel the Animal Kingdom Lodge. It was SO cool.

 Day two: spent all afternoon and night at the pool 

Char's face tells all about how relaxing that pool was ;)

 Moo having a BLAST

 

The cute staff at the hotel are creative

Okay. So this part was hands down my FAVORITE. We purchased a room at the lodge that gave us the option to have a balcony overlooking 40 different species of animals! What a treat! That giraffe made Emme and myself so happy to watch. the second morning we found him out grazing the trees and drinking the pond all while eating our breakfast on the balcony. It was breathtaking. Emme squealed in approval many times.

 There is our bud, left in the picture. The whole fam is out enjoying the sight. 

 The breathtaking hotel

 Still on day two in paradise. On the way to the pool

Charzee and Dad relaxing after the pool

 The end of day 2 (little did we know at the time that it would be the end of the FUN trip)

Let me explain.

E woke up around midnight whining every few minutes then falling asleep soon after. She kept this up for about a half hour and each time I either asked her what was up, got mad, sang to her, or just ignored it, each with no response from her. Finally, after hearing another whining session from her, I decided I would take her out on the balcony and rock her to sleep. As I was carrying her to to door, that's is when all hell started. She vomited EVERYWHERE, I was able to get her to the bathroom in time for her 3rd time vomiting. She was hysterical. After tossing ALL her cookies up, she cried and cried and cried. If she is anything like her Mama, I wouldn't blame her. I HATE throwing up. Loath it. 

I threw her and myself in the bath to get all cleaned up. Scrubbed the carpet as best as I could and got us all back to bed thinking she just swam so much just a few hours earlier, it upset her tummy. 

WRONG

She woke up the next morning with diarrhea and a fever. 

: (

We are on day 3 of the vacation. We had lunch reservations at a meet and greet buffet with her FAVORITE Disney Jr Channel Characters. For sure she wouldn't want to miss that. So we slapped a Diaper on her and gave her some medicine. 

 Seeing Jake and not feeling well. At all.

 No Jake. It's not thumbs up. 

 Feeling a little better meeting Little Einsteins (I don't know her name. Bad Mommy)

 You can see her little sickly eyes in this one

Calling it quits. The next morning we packed up early and headed home. She was MISERABLE.

But that's not the end, my friends.

Sadly, there was SO much more ahead of us.

______________
 This next part of the story is rated "R" and is not intended for a weak stomach. It has crude, TMI details as well as brief nudity. 

(Please don't say I didn't warn you.)

....
Still here?

Okaaaaaay........

Emme was miserable. Mama was frazzled. We gave in and called the vacation quits.
Packed up the hotel, then the car, filled up the tank and started the journey home.

Half hour into the drive:
"Liz, I don't feel so well" said the driver.
"What do you mean?? Like you are going to throw up while going 75 MPH on the freew-"
 "Oh no- BLAAAAAAARRRRRRRFFGGGHHH"
Yup. Eric puked and filled the designated "puke cup" all the way to the brim. I dumped it out the window just in time before he let more loose.

"Wow. I feel much better."
So along we went. Daddy has the bug now, poor guy, we have to get home.

10 minutes later
"Liz, I am about to poop my pants, I need to pull over"

So there we were, emergency lights on, with Daddy in the woods, pooping his little heart out.
Emme was severely frightened by this point with all the commotion and even told me at one point while poor Daddy was doing his business to, "Just leave Daddy, we don't need him"
Seriously, so funny!
I calmed her down and explained to her, yes, we do need him.

Sweating, pale and looking dead, Daddy returned to the car. I switched him out and started to drive. As I was making my way over to the driver seat, I noticed I had my monthly "visitor" happily greet me at that moment. Holy hell. I had NOTHING to accommodate her very demanding needs either.
So we are back on the road, only an hour into the trip and we are defeated.
I bled through my pants. Eric shit his pants. Emme was whining in the back seat and Char was her content self.  
Okay, we can still do this. Only 8 hours left.

1 hour later:
"I have the chills and my kidneys are KILLING me"
"I think i'm about to pass out, pull over please"

Poor daddy continues his violent dry heaving and poop in the woods while I try to calm down the girls on the side of the road.

"We can't keep pulling over, it's dangerous, we need a hotel"

Another hour goes by and we find a hotel.
Eric pays the clerk in his shit-stained shorts while I get the girls ready for the room.

We figured we didn't need to unpack the car just for a quick nights rest as we would head out in just a few hours.

We got settled in the hotel and changed Char's diaper. I went to pick her up and rest her on my shoulder.

"BLLLAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGH"

"Not you now Charlee!"

I raced her over to the sink so she could finish her up-chuck.
I held her horrified that I now had 3 people to take care of.
Charlee didn't seem to mind though. She smiled right after she was done tossing her dinner up.

Okay,
Char and Mom had a quick bath to clean up.
We were now down to a naked baby in a diaper. Me wearing my bloody pants and Eric's shirt he gave me after I threw mine away from it being soaked in vomit. Emme had all her clothes thank goodness.

Bed time.

 1 1/2 later:

"BLLLLAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH"

Charlee is at it again. This time she was dry heaving and had nothing left in her. She starts to choke and cry heavily. I felt heartbroken holding my little baby over a sink as she was scared to death puking nothing up.

"Eric, we need to just get. home."

So the hotel was a bust. Yet another hotel we ruined with puke, blood, and poo.

We get in the car around 2 am
Emme falls fast asleep with Charlee's blanket in her car seat.
Char is still in her diaper but it gets cold in the car.
I gave her my shirt that once was Eric's to wrap around her.

Between Eric and myself, we are pretty much naked driving home.
By that point, who the F cared????
NOT. US.

I said a prayer that I would stay well so I could take care of everyone as well as one for my sweet, sick little family.
We made it a mission to make it home. We had just over 5 hours left. We literally were racing against the clock before I, myself got sick. We couldn't afford to have that happen. With the odds against us, it was BOUND to happen, right??

To not go crazy clock watching on the way home, we allowed ourselves to look at the "miles remaining" every half an hour.

Little by little, we chipped away at that 5 hours. We made them our B*tch.

As we drove into Biloxi, the sun was just coming up.
More and more cars started to be out on the road.
I showed the world my goodies with just my nursing bra and a smile.
Again, we could care less.

6am:

We are home and in bed. E went right back to sleep and Char nursed for the first time since puking just hours before. I waiting anxiously, not being able to rest until I knew Charlee would hold that feeding down.

1 hour later:

We are all passed out. Disgusting, but sweetly sound asleep.

The End.

ps
I never got sick.